I recently read a book cover-to-cover in the span of 3 months -- a long time for some, but much faster than average for me. Finding time to read is one thing, not being tired when I have the time is another (reading puts me to sleep), and actually wanting to read is yet another. Reading has always been hard for me. I start out reading a paragraph with ease, but partway through I lose where I am on the page, or stumble over a word, or get distracted by something I heard in the room or saw out of the corner of my eye, or I just check again how long it will be till the end of the chapter. Having lost my place, I re-read, sometimes aloud, to comprehend it. In this manner I slowly plod my way through the words. The whole process requires a lot of concentration, and it is not at all what I would describe as relaxing. It is more like work.
I was never all that sure why I found reading difficult. After all, if I really concentrated, I could do it, just much slower than most. Was I just being lazy? In school I was very studious and would really try to read everything I was asked to. Usually, though, I wouldn't finish novels for English and just have to ask others about what happened. I thought I had some sort of learning disability that made me struggle with reading comprehension. In my twenties I thought I had dyslexia and just figured it was something I had to live with.
I had no idea that my real issue is with my vision.
When I was 25 an optometrist told me -- for the first time -- that I have convergence insufficiency. I remember asking if there were any eye exercises I could do, and he said the only way to improve it was through surgery, and that since I've coped with it fairly well this far, he didn't recommend it. He prescribed a prism for my glasses and that was that. The prism did help. My eyes didn't seem to feel as tired, but reading was still just as difficult so I didn't make the connection.
Now in my thirties, I saw another eye doctor who made the connection for me. The convergence insufficiency means my eyes do not team together at a close range. In fact, when I read, my right eye is looking at the word that I "see" and my left eye is looking slightly to the side of it. This causes me to skip around the page or have blurred vision or double vision. I think sometimes my brain is working so hard just to decipher what I see, that comprehension of what the words say becomes secondary. If I am stressed or tired, the process is all the more difficult. To my great relief, the optometrist said convergence insufficiency could be completely corrected with about a year of vision therapy sessions.
The book I spoke of earlier was Fixing my Gaze by Susan Barry. She was born cross-eyed. She tells of how she managed to gain depth-perception in her 50's by vision therapy. Her success with vision therapy has given me hope and optimism as I begin therapy myself. Most people I talk to about vision therapy have never heard of such a thing and think I am wasting my time and money. The optometrist told me that vision therapy will change my life. Who's right? Time will tell, I suppose. My first session is tomorrow.
